I just took my headphones off. I was going to go to bed, but outside I can hear a horrific, huge machine sound. An enormous engine, an atonal, wordless blare, a hideous fanfare. The sound of fast-spinning iron drums, spiked. Some kind of land-gouging engine, some kind of holocaust generator.

Have they decided to level Croydon? They’re doing something horrible on a large scale, and they’re doing it at night.

There’s a conveyor belt. Twelve feet wide, the width of the machine. Unconscious bodies thrown onto the pitted, slimy rubber, disappearing into the mouth of the machine and chewed to gritty paste by its appalling metal teeth.

Drunk kids stumble out of bars, cops tase them. Bang. Stun them, beat them about the head until they lose consciousness, throw them onto the vulcanised tongue of the machine. Zero tolerance finally implemented. Burn them to tar, to carbon. Plumes of outrageous vapours whipped away by the wind.

*****

If you’re ambivalent about having children, or taking a job, or making your way in the word, that’s a revolutionary stance and is exactly what the world as a total biological system desperately needs.

“I was going to go to the bookshop and get something to read but… I can’t really be bothered. I was going to recharge my phone to talk to my friends and family…”

The world needs failures now, the world needs human failure on a global scale. Fail and be proud. But not too proud, because that might motivate you to do something.

“I was going to set up a record label and a fashion label, but I thought, probably wouldn’t get very far so I thought, just stay home. And the kettle’s broke, and I couldn’t really be bothered to fix it, because I thought it’s probably complicated, so I just… well, I turned the tap on, but then I thought, allow it…”

THAT’S THE SPIRIT. THAT’S WHAT THE WORLD ACTUALLY NEEDS FROM US RIGHT NOW AND IT REPRESENTS A REVOLUTIONARY CHANGE IN HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS.

In the clothes shop they’re playing house music, disco samples of orchestral strings suggesting soap operas about rich people. House music, the music of preening and consumption.

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